The Path of Nicole

Calling myself a bit of an anxious person is like calling a lake small sip of water: it’s a bit of an understatement.

I have been a worried, anxious person all of my life. As I remember it, I had a good, normal childhood. I grew up in the 80s and 90s. I had lots of love and adoration from people around me. I was always well-fed and well-dressed. I excelled in school, had friends (although not super popular), and was very normal, at least on the outside.

On the inside, in my head, I worried about things almost constantly. Small things, like, “will my books fit perfectly in my locker today?” or “what if I make a B+ instead of an A on today’s test?”

This flurry of small worries have been a constant, running show in my mind for as long as I can remember. Through therapy, I have learned that while this experience is not unusual (apparently most people are constantly evaluating and worrying and trying to predict things in their minds), it is certainly not useful or plesant.

So Why Now?

Currently, I am unemployed and actively seeking work. I am seeking work that is more fulfilling and helpful to other people than the work that I have done in the past. I would like to find meaningful work. Though being unemployed is a worry on its own (a big one), not having to work gives me more time to play with improving other parts of my life. And as you may have guessed, I am going to “work” on not worrying so much.

The “Week of No Worries” was born out of my desire to train my brain to recognize those times when I am worrying about something very small and inconsequential. I am not yet far along on my personal path to say that I want to stop worrying completely, BUT, I do think it is possible to train my brain to worry less about small, silly things. The name is loosely based on the title of Shonda Rhime’s book “Year of Yes: How to Dance it Out, Stand in the Sun, and Be Your Own Person.” I dare not set myself up monumental failure by trying to not worry for an entire year; I am starting with a week. Besides, week of no worries has a bit of an alliteration feel to it, so it’s a perfect name.

What I Hope to Learn

By the end of this 7-day experiment, I hope to:

1. Achieve daily practice of recognizing and recording my own worried thoughts
2. Reflect on the worried thoughts and find meaning and a new path forward
3. Share my experiment and results with others (this blog has purpose now!)
4. Record footage of my day each day and talk about my experience and learnings

In the near future, I will post a video on my new YouTube channel to share share snippets and learnings from each day. Click here to visit (and hopefully subscribe to) my new YouTube channel.

Let’s go!