Breaking News at Noon:
A local woman, who does not want to be named, has had to alert authorities after being harassed repeatedly by an acquaintance who tried to guilt and shame her into coming to an Easter potluck dinner.
The woman states that she has not seen the acquaintance in years, but she does remember that she has never eaten any of their food…and for good reason.
“Honestly, I can just look at them and tell their food will be as bland as licking a freshly painted bathroom wall,” says the woman, who would like to remain anonymous.
“They just kept saying that I should come over and I kept declining. Eventually, the fear of having to eat their unseasoned food and lilac easter eggs caused me so much distress that I had to report them to the authorities.”
Local authorities are currently on the lookout for this monster acquaintance.
Anyone who knows of a person or group of people gathering today who will serve bland food should practice caution by maintaining their distance, eating their own food, and calling the authorities as soon as possible.
The Path of Nicole 
Leave a comment