The Path of Nicole

Today was a day of worries. I have to be honest.

I woke up in a worried, anxious state. I did not sleep well the previous night and for some reason, all day, I was consumed with worry about finding gainful employment soon.

I am not currently in financial distress, even though I am unemployed, but today I worried about becoming stressed about money. In other words, I worried about the future of my financial stability. My worries quickly began to spiral into the worst case scenarios: being forcibly removed from my apartment, not being able to feed me or my cat, being forced to live with a friend or ask a friend for help.

Today was a really tough day. Even with an awareness of what I was worrying about, I was not successful in redirecting my thoughts. All of the morning and much of the afternoon was spent trying to accept that I was worrying and telling myself that I was still ok. I busied myself with housework. I even ate an unhealthy lunch from KFC in hopes that the naughty food would give my brain a much needed dose of feel good chemicals. The food didn’t help. The attempts to redirect my thoughts didn’t help. The attempts to acknowledge and just FEEL the anxiety didn’t quell the anxiety. Today was not fun.

Also, I woke up with sciatic pain. Because I was already feeling very down, I took medicine to help. I am glad that I did; having a little bit of relief from the discomfort definitely gave me less to worry about. I did manage to exercise for about an hour and close all of the rings on my Apple Watch. Making it through the exercise session boosted my spirits a little bit and gave my mind something else to do for an hour.

I did not take any photos or film myself doing anything today. I was tired, worried, and anxious–basically the exact opposite of Monday.

I am hopeful for tomorrow and I hope things are better all around.

Tell me: What do you do (or not do) to help you on days when you’re really worried about something?